A Feel.

I have seen the hospital settings and voluntarily been part of high dependency units since my high school. I see many pains and then have witnessed many people cured and going out healthy. I always wonder how this system of universe works? I was on call in Nephrology clinic when I saw another such pain. A woman in mid 50s with her son diagnosed with CKD stage 5, the boy was a 19 years old boy ! What an unfortunate and unpredictable life can be. Burst of tears by the woman. I have also been of the view that pain aggravates when it is accompanied with limited resources,  poverty is a pain itself. I often relate that the third world countries can be strong if two things; education and solution to poverty can be devised and more or less, poverty lessen with education and employment.


As doctors we become rigid and avoid showing emotions but we also feel that, tears that can soften our hearts but we very rarely react. What on earth can save these miseries, I always wonder. Pain engulfs everything here but I always feel this to be for patients around me for eternal rest of both worlds. Everything looks neat till we are theoretically studying in classes, chronic kidney disease looks easy in  Davidson’s Medicine; but in practical setting, you see denial of patient,  emotions of siblings, refusal to diagnosis, hope by physicians and somewhere within the Mercy of God driving us to what’s an ultimate and what is our fate. I wish medical authors could have also described something about the feelings and associated social reactions for doctors.


I was with Dr.Hasnain Murtaza last summers, a known Public Health figure of Pakistan now he is currently in Malaya University, he told me something very genuine. He expressed that there is an inspiration and then there is a destiny, you build your destiny it’s true but you build it all? It’s not yet confirmed. Some of the idiopathic life things.



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